Twenty-third

If there's one lesson my 23rd year taught me, it is about letting go. This year, I have had to let go of so many things: books, people, my job, my ideas, and even my own thoughts. It wasn't that I wanted to let go but life always has its way of making us do it even before we are aware. It's an ice-bucket challenge of sorts; where ice represents the reality that you need to sense, to acknowledge, to figuratively get wet with.

In the recent days, prior to my birthday, I basically did not know what I'd do with my life. I was so out of energy to go on. In fact, I posted this on Facebook and everyone thought I was joking. No, wrong. I was actually joking. I hid my deepest worries through my humor. Not everyone got it like that, however. I realized though that I have a purpose. It's been there all this time and I have been refusing to accept it. That's so MYTH REID of me—all this refusal, this cynicism, this divergence. Now, I guess I have to let go of a few old parts of myself so that I will become new—and better.

There are things I'm still quite sad about, and regret is right here pulling my shirt like a wanting child. I'm letting it linger for a tad so I may be reminded about choosing better, if not the best, course of actions moving forward. I wanna be reminded of the things I have to do what's right so I will at least be given the favor to keep the most special parts of a whole that I have to set free.

Life isn't the place you find your comfort zone, it turns out. It's a place where you find which things you're willing to die for, and which risks are worth the taking. Once that's done, once you've decided which things are they, you go for them. YOU DIE FOR THEM.

I AM GETTING UP FOR LIFE. Sometimes, I will feel lazy or exhausted, but I'm definitely getting up to invite, to welcome, to love, to nurture, or to push back, to dislike, and to let go of just about anything that needs whatever, moving forward.

I am alive and I am accepting letting go as an integral part of being so. And in spite of all the things I have lost this year and the years prior, I am still grateful.

So, to whom it may concern: THANK YOU. Thank you so much.